Sunday, January 8, 2012

Sneyder, Rapper and Cab Driver Extraordinaire


Tayrona is a highlight of the North Coast of Colombia; it boasts ample mileage of hiking trails in the tallest coastal mountain range in the world, ancient ruins of long since conquered people, wildlife, and white sand beaches ranging from totally packed to totally deserted, depending on how deep you go into the park. We were originally going to get dropped off via water by Jack’s late night drinking friend (see previous entry), but we went to the meeting spot and Andy—if that was even his real name—was a no show. It was too late to take the cheap shuttle over to the park, and all the public boats had left; the only viable option was to take a dreadfully expensive cab for an hour and a half or so. Cab drivers in this part of the world are keen observers—they seem to instantly know where you need to go by how you are dressed and what you are carrying. Sneyder was the first cab driver to get our attention. After haggling the fare down below the list price to 55,000 pesos (about 30 dollars), we set out on the road trip to Tayrona.
Sneyder ended up being perhaps the best cab driver I have ever had; he had sweet mix tapes of old Lil Wayne and Kanye West tracks and had an amazing story for why he spoke fluent English. In the 90s, Sneyder attempted to cross the border twice with the aid of well-paid coyotes, and was nabbed at a Florida port the first time, then in North Carolina on the second attempt. On his third attempt he took matters into his own hands. He packed 2 loafs of bread, a bag of lemons, and 5 liters of water, and with the clothes on his back stowed away in a cargo freighter bound to America. Sneyder thought this freighter was heading to one of the typical American states a Colombian ship goes to: Florida or Texas, and he packed accordingly for the 2 day voyage. After the third day he still was not on American soil, neither was he on the fourth or the fifth. He ended up making it all the way to New York, an 8 or 10 day voyage as he remembers. When he finally reached New York, he was skinny, dehydrated, and malnourished. He hopped into the river and swam towards the big buildings. A Puerto Rican couple ended up helping him out of the water, and gave him food and shelter and a job at their car wash. Sneyder then met a slightly more legal Puerto Rican woman that he had a kid with. When attempting to get his kids papers straight to enter school, he ended up blowing his cover, and was sent back to Colombia. Sneyder is now, five years later, working as a cab driver and saving up to start his own cab and shuttle company to meet the growing demands of the Colombian tourist industry and wants to buy land for his son to have to vacation on. He sees his son and baby’s mama twice a year in Costa Rica as of now.
When Sneyder saw that we were ‘cool’ folks he asked us if we minded if he picked up some pot, we said no, and he drove us through a part of Santa Marta that very few Gringos have gone to and come out to tell the tale. He bought it off an old guy on a bike by hanging two fingers out the window while driving past and then meeting him a few blocks down, receiving a quick handoff of two joints. He put some hip-hop instrumentals on and busted some whack rhymes. Then he started telling us about Colombian culture; demonized pot usage because of narcotraffic (he sprayed air freshener on his fingers to mask the smell), Hugo Chavez and the impending war with Venezuela (“he’s fucking crazy, man”), Venezuelan gas (it’s practically free there, and is widely smuggled into Eastern Colombia), propane cars (didn’t even know that existed!), the evils of cocaine (it’ll really narrow your views, it’s so fucked up, it makes everything important go away), how Colombia has changed since Escobar got Swiss-cheesed up and what Colombians did to see that change through (we were tired of living in a war zone, so we voted, and we stopped being so corrupt), and so on and so forth. When the conversation died down he would light his spliff, again, and continue flowing, badly.
By the time we reached the Tayrona we had a new glimpse into Colombia, made possible in large part due to Sneyder’s command of the English language, he could express lofty and abstract things in a way that we could understand, and I paid him the 60,000 (an 8 hour bus ride for 2) without blinking, plus a tip, in hopes that one day Sneyder, Inc. will come to fruition and his son will have a place to come in his father’s motherland.

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